de-stress-i-fyer

it is soo late, 3am, and i don't even know why i'm up. i think i'm sleepy, yet i don't feel like sleeping. instead, i'm blogging, and in a way this is pretty relaxing for me. i've been really busy with work stuff and ironically, busy sitting right here where i am now, staring at the computer screen. and yet here i am, relaxing.

i have a few new posts up at TEAM HAWKINS if you haven't checked them out already. i learned how to re-size the blog template so that i can post really large pictures. they may actually be a little too large, but i like it that way. i hate pictures that are too small on blogs and having to click on them to see things better, mostly because i am too lazy to have more windows up than necessary. it makes me feel all cluttered and stressed out.

that's one thing i've been trying to work on lately, stress less. i think i stress without even knowing it. what if i have an anxiety problem? but i'm not anxious. i'm just very concerned about things like always being prepared and knowing things in advance (although, i am always late to things and that doesn't seem to throw me off). i get concerned about grammar and punctuation, yes, seriously. i hate seeing any kind of grammatical error and it stresses me out to see so many, i'm always reading stuff online for work and pleasure ... in fact, if i had one wish, i would wish that people could write and spell everything perfectly. that would be the day! i also get concerned about making a fabulous dinner on time every evening, on time meaning approximately 30 minutes after Sam gets home from work. i'd win wife of the year for sure.

obviously, a lot of things i can't control, like the grammar and punctuation thing. other things i can, like the dinner thing. and other things, i just need to build some room for the unexpected and let it be. for the things i can control, i'm going to work on those first. and they all seem so petty! i could easily make a fabulous dinner on time every night if i REALLY wanted to and organized my time more wisely. or, that empty little bird feeder that i see every day out the kitchen window that just bugs the crap out of me every time i see it, i mean, really, how hard would it be to just go outside and fill it back up? somehow, i always find an excuse not to. i know i can organize myself with other things, why can't i apply that kind of spunk to all facets of my day-to-day? i'll work on that.

ah yes, i feel better already now that i have a plan. no wonder blogging is so relaxing. i've said more than once that this blog is so cathartic for me. you never let me down, do you?