reunion jitters

next month is my high school's 10 year reunion. Next. Month. i am going. and for some reason this reunion stuff is really freaking me out. let's explore.

in high school, i was a pretty cool girl (at least in my head i was). i like to think i had a lot of friends and that the popular kids liked me well enough. i can't even really put my finger on who the popular kids were in my high school, actually. there were definitely cool kids and smart kids and lame kids and sporty kids, hm, i don't know.

anyway, what am i afraid of? who am i afraid of seeing? i just think it will all be very awkward, yes, that is what i'm picturing in my head. awkward because i haven't kept in touch with anyone. awkward because i feel like i don't belong in UT anymore, like i don't consider it my "home" or where i'm "from." awkward because i think most of my classmates are still in UT and they all hang out with each other, many have even married each other. can we say insta-clique? awkward because even though i haven't kept in touch with anyone, we are still friends on Facebook and i know how many kids they all have and what they had for breakfast and how they feel about the weather and where they're going on vacation via status updates. so awkward! right??

or, what if what i remember about someone isn't what they remember about me? like i remember something good about them (i.e. that we were friends) and they remember something stupid about me (i.e. that one time i made them mad and they ended up hating me forever)? ugh, shudder, that would be sooo awkward.

and what am i supposed to wear to the reunion event? hey, i'm a girl, so this worries me. on TV, it's always the picture of, "oh, i have to look super sexy and have really white teeth and nicely-toned arms to make that guy i had a major crush on regret that he never hooked up with me." haha, ok, first of all, this is UT. by this time (for the most part) 10 years later, everyone is already married.

but i still want to look good. my ego tells me that i should be proud of the fact that my body hasn't changed since high school. plus, i haven't had any kids yet, so i don't have any baby fat to worry about losing in four weeks. haha.

i'm kinda bummed Sam isn't coming with me. i'd love to show him off.

probably the best part about this reunion is going to be the reunion i will have with my best friend, Tyeanna-wanna. luckily kept in touch with her throughout all these years! i love her to death. when we were seniors or something, we promised each other that if there was a 10-year reunion, we wouldn't go unless we were going together. i can't believe that time is now! i haven't seen my Tyeanna in about five years, so i'm very very excited to spend some quality time with her. i love you, T-bone!!!! we'll have a blast just being together even if the reunion ends up being as awkward as i'm imagining.