often i'll start drafting a new blog post only to save it for later, either because i ran out of thoughts or just wasn't feeling it. today i went through all my old drafts and laughed at what i read. it's like seeing glimpses of an older and sometimes less wiser version of me, little pieces of my where my brain was wandering off to that day. i didn't feel the urge to finish any of them, mostly because they were so old! but i thought some were still worth sharing in their unfinished state.
3/26/10
"i learned something new today"
food, water, keys to survival right? there is one more if you want to have any friends as well as keep any friends that you already have.
"i learned something new today"
food, water, keys to survival right? there is one more if you want to have any friends as well as keep any friends that you already have.
because when you don't have kids, one by one your circle of friends disappears. not disappears completely, but they join this new mom world that i have yet to understand and leave you behind. they come back to visit you, but they live in the new world now. and you can't join in, not because you're uninvited, but because you literally just can't. unless you become a mom, too.
folks, i feel like a broken record on this blog and i'm so sorry all i do is vent here about the same old thing, but why does it feel like i'm just fighting the same battles? what is it that separates women who have kids and women who do not have kids? i swear it's not just in my head. it's something in the air, something tangible, something that resembles a fog, an iron wall.
and it's getting worse! like i said in the beginning, i think having kids is now key to survival. it's more than creating joy and a posterity, it's essential to not be totally alone in this world. i thought of the handful of women i knew growing up who never had kids because they were unable and i remember how they felt alone, too. i could never pinpoint it until now, but they all seemed "different" and kind of sad. sure, because they couldn't have kids and always wanted them, but also because not having kids must have totally isolated them from everyone else. think of all the conversations they felt left out of, the activities they never got to participate in or the experiences they never had, and most importantly, the ability to share and commiserate with other women.
1/13/10
"a new me"
gone are the days when a Nutrigrain bar was a perfectly healthy snack.
a few years ago, i went hiking with some friends and some friends of friends, and one of the friends of friends was this health nut who had apparently just lost a bunch of weight, like 50 lbs or something. after the hike, i was sitting in the car with her on the way back to our homes when i took out a Nutrigrain bar from my pack thinking it would be this great healthy snack to top off a great healthy work-out. i offered this friend of a friend half of it to share.
she took one look at my "healthy" snack as if i was offering her a tarantula in my hand and said to me, "if only you knew what was in that thing. no, thank you."
i immediately didn't like her, thought she was rude and weird, and called her crazy under my breath.
well now i need to bite my tongue, because she was right. i've put myself on a super healthy diet as part of my New Year's resolution to only consume healthy food that will do my body good. and i'm going all the way on this one.
i've cut out almost all meat, except fish. i still eat a tiny bit of regular meat to ensure i don't become allergic to it because i still want to be able to eat McDonald's again in my lifetime. i cut out dairy, or anything made from cow's milk, because it is hard on the digestive system. i still eat goat cheese, yum. i'm thinking i should still eat some cow's milk though, so my body doesn't get allergic to that either because i don't think i could ever live without ice cream either. ok, i'll make a mental note of that. i have also cut out eating bread with with yeast because it fermets in the body which becomes food for germs and fungus that produce alcohol which interferes with the body's natural detoxification process. who knew? i don't really mind this. i miss bread, but i can live without it. also, no sugar, no hydrogenated oils, and no high glycemic foods like white flour, pasta, pastries, corn chips, etc. or anything with "enriched" flour.
THIS HAS BEEN VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME.
but it's been almost two weeks now, and i feel great! i still allow myself a tiny little treat a day, like today i had four M&Ms. sounds awful, i know, like i'm totally depriving myself, but four M&Ms was actually plenty. i crave differently now. and it's a much more empowering feeling to know that pretty much everything i eat is super healthy and doing my body good.
eating McDonald's always made me feel good, but it never failed to make me feel immediately guilty about it afterwards. those McStomachaches are pretty hard to ignore. but i will always love McDonald's and i can promise you that i will continue to eat it, just extremely less than what i am used to :)
so after almost two weeks, am i seeing any benefits yet? absolutely. little things, like my hair is shinier. Sam mentioned the other day that my face was "glowing" and that i look thinner. i have tons of energy. no more slumps in the afternoon, seriously!
do any of you have any plans for a new you?
10/13/09
"what do the insides of other people's houses look like?"
1/13/10
"a new me"
gone are the days when a Nutrigrain bar was a perfectly healthy snack.
a few years ago, i went hiking with some friends and some friends of friends, and one of the friends of friends was this health nut who had apparently just lost a bunch of weight, like 50 lbs or something. after the hike, i was sitting in the car with her on the way back to our homes when i took out a Nutrigrain bar from my pack thinking it would be this great healthy snack to top off a great healthy work-out. i offered this friend of a friend half of it to share.
she took one look at my "healthy" snack as if i was offering her a tarantula in my hand and said to me, "if only you knew what was in that thing. no, thank you."
i immediately didn't like her, thought she was rude and weird, and called her crazy under my breath.
well now i need to bite my tongue, because she was right. i've put myself on a super healthy diet as part of my New Year's resolution to only consume healthy food that will do my body good. and i'm going all the way on this one.
i've cut out almost all meat, except fish. i still eat a tiny bit of regular meat to ensure i don't become allergic to it because i still want to be able to eat McDonald's again in my lifetime. i cut out dairy, or anything made from cow's milk, because it is hard on the digestive system. i still eat goat cheese, yum. i'm thinking i should still eat some cow's milk though, so my body doesn't get allergic to that either because i don't think i could ever live without ice cream either. ok, i'll make a mental note of that. i have also cut out eating bread with with yeast because it fermets in the body which becomes food for germs and fungus that produce alcohol which interferes with the body's natural detoxification process. who knew? i don't really mind this. i miss bread, but i can live without it. also, no sugar, no hydrogenated oils, and no high glycemic foods like white flour, pasta, pastries, corn chips, etc. or anything with "enriched" flour.
THIS HAS BEEN VERY DIFFICULT FOR ME.
but it's been almost two weeks now, and i feel great! i still allow myself a tiny little treat a day, like today i had four M&Ms. sounds awful, i know, like i'm totally depriving myself, but four M&Ms was actually plenty. i crave differently now. and it's a much more empowering feeling to know that pretty much everything i eat is super healthy and doing my body good.
eating McDonald's always made me feel good, but it never failed to make me feel immediately guilty about it afterwards. those McStomachaches are pretty hard to ignore. but i will always love McDonald's and i can promise you that i will continue to eat it, just extremely less than what i am used to :)
so after almost two weeks, am i seeing any benefits yet? absolutely. little things, like my hair is shinier. Sam mentioned the other day that my face was "glowing" and that i look thinner. i have tons of energy. no more slumps in the afternoon, seriously!
do any of you have any plans for a new you?
10/13/09
"what do the insides of other people's houses look like?"
what do the insides of other people's houses look like? i love it when the front windows of a house have no curtains or blinds so that i can look in when i walk or drive by and imagine what type of people live there.
i wonder if people sing aloud to songs in the car as much as i do? only when i'm alone in the car, though. and i get super self-conscious about it, like, i only really belt it when it's night time and i'm pretty sure the other drivers either aren't looking at me or can't see me. i'll sing along to songs in the daytime, i guess, but i'll stop when i'm at a stop light or if another car gets too close to me because i'm afraid of them catching me singing by myself, how embarrassing would that be? um, very.
they say office romance and infidelity is common, but this is my first experience. help.
9/3/09
"awkward!"
what do you do when there is a girl ON YOUR TEAM shamelessly macking on YOUR BOSS?
"awkward!"
what do you do when there is a girl ON YOUR TEAM shamelessly macking on YOUR BOSS?
first of all, no, he's not necessarily her boss too. we're all one big PR team, but my boss and i head up the corporate group while this girl's role is totally separate from ours. but we all sit by each other and we work indirectly with each other. is he married? um, yes. well at least technically for now. is she married? no, but she does have a "serious" boyfriend. i hope i'm wrong on this one. just trying to read the signals here, which in my opinion are loud and clear.
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1 comments:
I loved these posts. Thanks for including them. The singing by yourself - that is one thing that I learned about you for the first time when we were in California. I never realized that I never heard you singing to yourself until you pointed it out. So interesting how different we are. I sing all the time but never realize it. Guess it's because my mother did it in public all the time. I use to think it was embarrassing when she did but now I do it! The healthy post - I thought this was hilarious because you use to eat things all the time that you 'thought' were healthy that made me laugh. I don't eat very healthy all the time but I usually know if it is or not. - The mom post, so are you feeling like you 'fit' in now that you are pregnant. I totally agree with this post. It's like the 'children' and 'non children' couples are in two totally different worlds. I have felt for the past few years that it has been hard for me to relate with you (especially over the phone) because our lifestyles are just so different. I do feel badly for people that 'can't' have children and want them so badly. It is such a sensitive subject.
Love you lots and thanks for posting tidbits of your thoughts.
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